sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
