My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
