just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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