I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
