We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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