You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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