That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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