Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
