Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize