Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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