Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize