the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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