I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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