NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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