If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Panties = found
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
