Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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