That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
