that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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