she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
