Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
People in love make me want to vomit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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