I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
