Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
