we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
