i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
