All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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