This is not my ceiling
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize