I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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