Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
