Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dick very happy bro
I love you. Go after that dick
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
