its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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