dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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