Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
