the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
