my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
