so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
