i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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