when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
