I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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