yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
