haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
