you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
