We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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