I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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