Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
