remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
