Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
