just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
