Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize