where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
