His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize