Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
