you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
