Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
