like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize