When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
