Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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