Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
