yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
