Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
