question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
