i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
